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Five Sure Fire Ways To Send Visitors Away For Good
By Michael Cheney, magnet4web.com, Sat Dec 10th
So your traffic is going through the roof yeah? It's allbecoming a bit too much? You're getting lots of sales enquiriesthrough your website every day? You want to send visitors awayfrom your site for good? Just follow these five Sure Fire Waysand your site will be a tumbleweed ghost town in no time. Way No. 1 - Clog Up Their Internet Connection Imagine it. They're happily surfing around on Google looking foryour 'widget' and everything's going smoothly. Your websiteappears in the first page listings (congratulations you musthave employed magnet4web or another highly-esteemed websitemarketing company!) and they click through to you. Then theirinternet connection starts to clog up. It is positively groaningand creaking under the strain of downloading your homepage whichhas so many images on it takes over 30 seconds to appear. Theylook at the progress bar at the bottom of their screen. It reads'20%'. They look at their watch and then click on the little 'X'at the top right of their screen. Well done - you've just sentaway a visitor - for good.
Way No. 2 - 'I am not a number - I am a free man' Along come some more visitors. They lick their lips inanticipation of viewing your widgets which they are veryinterested in buying - they have their credit card handy. They land on your homepage and all is well, at first. "Thebenefits of choosing Widgets Inc. are as follows..." Yourhomepage is laden with customer-focused benefits and sellingpoints - excellent. But wait a minute. What's that at the bottomof the page? It's not what I think it is, is it? Oh dear, therein black and white is one of the fundamental no-nos in webdesign that is guaranteed to send the message "This website wasbuilt by my dog": "Welcome - you are visitor number 102" Regardless of the number (and let's face it 80% are either youor your family!) you will be sending away people in droves. Welldone - your site is becoming less busy by the day. Let's move onto way number three.. Way No. 3 - "Help me buy from you - please..." They're lost. You have built the site around what seems alogical approach but your visitors are lost. You've given mostprominence to testimonials
August 13, 2004 "Honk if You Love Dogs!"
August 13, 2004 "Honk if You Love Dogs!", read the sticker on the old van's back bumper. Joyfully, a yellow Labrador Retriever lapped the breeze through the half cracked window on the passenger's side. He was so happy to be alive and riding with his person that you could feel his joy. Caught up in emotion, I chuckled and patted my own dog (Prudence) as the old van overtook us and rambled on down the highway.
As it passed, I thumped my horn a couple of times. Chiming in, other vehicles beeped their opinion as the Econonline chugged on by. Good old America. "Land of the Free" A land of dog lovers. That's why so many American citizens are involved in Animal Rights groups. Correct? If you are one of the many that believe this statement to be true, you are sadly mistaken.
Animal rights organizations are just the opposite of groups that truly love animals. These organizations do not love dogs nor do they love people. If you find this shocking, you are not alone. True enough, many members on the lower echelons of animal rights groups really do love animals but they are being used and deceived by a much more menacing group who has human enslavement as their final goal. Motivated by sensationalistic imagery and encouraged by shallow movie stars who don't take the time to look deeply into issues before opening their mouths, the foot soldiers of the animal rights army donate hard earned cash as well as their time to promote a future America where animals are no longer "enslaved" by the Human bonds of love. These unenlightened, well meaning members are simply cogs in the wheel of a very big machine designed to CONTROL HUMAN RIGHTS.
Currently these so called Animal Rights groups are trying to take away our Human Right to pet ownership but someday, if they are successful in taking away our beloved pets, the animal rights groups will morph into something even more vile, such as removing our Human Right to own private property such as a home or a farm. From there, it's an easy step to taking away our right to private bank accounts and once they've taken our money and put it into a national account "for the greater good", it's a very slippery slope to total enslavement by a group known as the Communist Party.
If this sounds like science fiction to you, then you weren't paying attention in history class. You need only to look as far back as Castro's Cuba, Nazi Germany, the atrocities of Communist China or the Russian Revolution to see how Fascism takes hold and crushes the spirit of the populous through fear and indignation. The idea of protecting cute fuzzy animals is the perfect Trojan Horse for gaining the populous' trust. Be careful who you support with your time and money. The rights you remove may be your own.
Do you really want to live in a society that condemns pet ownership? Think about this. If everyone in the United States of America stopped breeding dogs - where would we find a dog after the current generation died out? If we were to follow zero population growth for dogs, meaning everyone spayed and neutered their dogs, within less than twenty years, dogs would be extinct in America. Yes, you read that right. Dogs would be extinct just like the Dinosaurs. Not so surprisingly, our beloved Heinz 57s would be the first to go since American mutts are nothing more than happy accidents between different breeds of purebred dogs.
If the animal rights groups have their way, in the future, neither you nor I will be allowed to own a dog. But the elite will still have their dogs. Just like in the days of Prohibition, movie stars, rich politicians and other members of the elite classes will still be buying the things they want on the black market. Under the ruling party of the animal rights fascists, dogs will be hugely expensive and a privilege for the very few. The middle class will be enslaved and dogless. If this isn't your vision of our American heritage than share this story, learn all you can and speak out against the animal rights movement. Keep America free.... Honk if you love dogs!
More to come
More later, Prudence needs her beauty rest. Next rant...solutions.
but they just want to send you anemail. They click on three, four and sometimes five pages butcan't find your phone number or email address anywhere. But it'sokay - of course they have a spare quarter of an hour to huntthrough your website (that doesn't have a site map) to find yourcontact details when they already have another window open withyour competitor's website - complete with email address, phonenumber, fax number, street address, mobile number, map and GPScoordinates.. Yes - you've guessed it - you're one step closer to thatghost-town.. Way No. 4 - 'Please Let Me Watch Intro' Yes, admit it - you once thought the best thing on the planetwas a website that started up by having a revolving animation ofthe company logo that exploded, span round a bit to an 80ssounding techno tune and then re-constituted itself in thecentre of the screen with the immortal words: "Click here to enter site" Strange that - "enter site". That's what all your visitors weretrying to do when they typed in your web address or clicked onyour link but instead they were faced with Jean Michelle Jarreand some possessed bit of code that replicated the effect ofsomeone regurgitating your business' corporate identity over thescreen. Nice. Flash intro = trash intro. Use em (the intros) andlose em (the visitors). Way No. 5 -"I am five years' old - I like things that flash" One day in the future a law will be passed that will make itillegal to use scrolling text, flashing images, rotating heads,animated animals and boucning cursors on a website. Your websiteis here to do business. It is supposed to be a serious tool inyour marketing armoury. It should be used to convey usefulinformation to your visitors and convince them that you areworth doing business with. Dress it up with flashing icons,swirling graphics, flashing logos and spinning pictures and themerry-go of visual delights will just make your visitors sick.They will leave your glitzy fairground never to return.. Michael Cheney, magnet4web.com (c) About the author:Michael Cheney is the Author of The Website Marketing BibleTM: "High five Michael! Your bible is superb! The world needs toread it and learn from it." - Jay Conrad Levinson, Author of"Guerrilla Marketing" http://www.websitemarketingbible.com
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