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The Lonely Leader
By Alan Cutler, Sat Dec 10th
THE LONELY LEADER By Alan Cutler, Leadership Writer, Speaker and Mentor John had started small but, over the years, he had built hisbusiness up, and he now employs over 20 staff. It had taken hardwork, long hours (and an understanding family). Whilst, in theearly days, he knew all his staff personally and was, himself,involved in front-line operations, these days his role is moredetached: he leads from a distance. Yet, with a bigger operationand more staff come more problems. It would not be so bad if heworked for a large company – he would have company policies anda line manager to fall back on, but he is still, essentially, aone-man-band. Things began to get on top of him and the problemsseemed to be getting bigger and bigger. He had no-one to turn toand no time to stand back and actually think about his businessand where it was going. He felt isolated and alone and wasbeginning to lose the confidence and self-belief he certainlyhad when he was building up his business. And then he decided tofind someone who could help him through his current malaise andguide him to take his business forward – a mentor.
Managers today are working increasingly longer hours and, as aconsequence, have less time for personal reflection; either onwork or personal-related issues. Hence, an increasing number arerealising the benefits of having someone who they spend timewith to discuss issues and to benefit from experienced,specialist advice and guidance. In John’s case, beingself-employed, his mentor, albeit a hospitality professional,had no connection with his catering business. Yet manyorganisations, in all sectors, are now setting up formalmentoring arrangements whereby junior managers can call upon theguidance of more experienced colleagues from within theircompany. Mentors are not consultants employed to resolve specific issues,nor are they coaches whose role is to encourage their client toset and achieve personal goals. A mentor will act as a soundingboard for their mentee and will walk alongside him or her toencourage career and personal development. The mentor’s role isto support and develop; to stimulate and challenge. Having amentor can help people who hold a leadership position developtheir leadership skills for their own benefit, as well as fortheir teams and, hence, their organisation. Many people havefound that the guidance they have received from a mentor hasgiven them greater confidence in their jobs which has made asignificant impact on their career prospects. Mentoring has been described as: ‘Off-line help from one person to another in making significanttransitions in knowledge, work and thinking’ Megginson and Clutterbuck 1995 ‘Off-line’ in this definition refers to a relationship that isnot with one’s line manager. Having someone outside one’s chainof command is seen as being potentially more beneficial, as itreduces the risk of conflict and lack of open discussion. A mentor:mentee relationship should be seen as an on-going,medium-to-long term arrangement if it is to be of real benefit.It takes time for each party to get to know the other and, inparticular, for the mentee to gain the necessary confidence toenter open, often personal, discussions. Confidentiality is thebedrock of a productive relationship, with the mentor respondingto the direction set by the mentee. Indeed, the junior partnershould be encouraged and empowered to take increasingresponsibility for the pace and direction the continuingdiscussions take, although the mentor should also challenge andcoax the mentee to identify problem areas. An open, positive mentoring relationship offers many potentialbenefits, including: addressing and resolving specific situations associatedwith the mentee’s role building more constructive relationships within theworkplace clarifying and prioritising work and personal choices gaining greater confidence and a feeling of self-worth improved career development potential developing better leadership skills founded upongreater confidence in the authority that accompanies a leader’srole An example of how off-line mentoring can be of benefit tomanagers in large organisations was Mary (like John in theprevious example, not her real name), who worked for aninternational company. She had a boss who she felt displayedgenerally poor leadership skills, hence for whom she had littlerespect. Their working relationship was generally poor, althoughnot totally destructive. Mary was offered the services of amentor within the company, who was a senior manager from anotherdepartment. After
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six months of working with her mentor, Maryhad been encouraged to review her relationship with her boss andhad come to accept that, notwithstanding his flaws, she had muchto learn from him. By subsequently seeking to build bridges withhim they ended up enjoying a much more constructive, if stillnot perfect, working relationship. Mary believed that it washaving someone who understood her position, and with whom shecould discuss her concerns in confidence, that enabled her toreview this issue in a broader perspective and to focus onfinding an acceptable solution. It is obvious that if a mentoring relationship is to bear fruit,the mentee must be, or become, totally at ease with the advisor.There must be a chemistry between them whereby the mentee hastotal confidence in the mentor; whilst the mentor feels able toadvise, direct, challenge and, if need be, constructivelycriticise the junior partner in the relationship. The idealmentor should: have appropriate background knowledge – this may notnecessarily be sector-specific, but must include a good level ofmanagerial and leadership experience be able to build rapport and develop relationships,based upon mutual respect have a record of developing and motivating others be enthusiastic and interested in the mentee’s role be a good communicator; not least a good listener not be directly related to the mentee’s currentposition or chain of command. A supportive mentor can have a very uplifting effect on amanager who has the ability but, for whatever reason, needs theencouragement and guidance from someone who shows faith in himor her, as evidenced from this comment: “I was rather under-confident when I took up my current post. Iwas newly divorced and had been out of the top flight for aperiod of time. I was totally intimidated by the company ethos.My mentor encouraged me to perform beyond my job description.She would question my performance, explain my mistakes andadvise me how to perform better. Above all, she gave meconfidence. She would say “I know you have the ability to do itand I know that you will do it”. Her encouragement and faith inme was a great support and incentive” Most mentoring relationships include regular, timetabledmeetings, ideally away from the mentee’s direct workenvironment. The initial meeting(s) are used to share personalinformation; address any concerns about the forthcomingrelationship; and identify priorities and expectations held byboth parties. Subsequent meetings, possibly held every month orso, will become more focussed upon specific issues as levels ofconfidence are built. A fairly recent development, however, has been the increasingpractice of e-mentoring, whereby meetings are largely, orentirely, replaced by communications over the internet. Whilstit may be more difficult to develop deeper relationships; andreactions and interpretations cannot be influenced by readingbody language or verbal nuances, there are some positivebenefits to e-mentoring, not least in combating problems ofdistance and international time zones. Moreover, the mentor canspend longer considering issues and offering advice, whilst thementee also has more time to reflect on exchanges. Issues areaddressed more promptly than by awaiting a monthly meeting,whilst discussions can be spread over several days rather thanbeing confined within, say, a two-hour meeting. Perhaps,however, the best mentoring arrangement allows for a combinationof face-to-face contact and telephone/email communications. So, what can mentoring offer The Lonely Leader? The reportfollowing a mentoring programme specifically for women inleadership positions found that, as a result of the programme: •90% of mentees were more conscious of their own values •84%felt more secure in their leadership roles •82% believed thatthe programme had had a positive effect on their careerdevelopment •80% reported that they had developed personally Yet, how often do leaders allocate substantial resources towardsthe training of their staff, whilst giving scant considerationto their own development needs? A senior position within anyorganisation can, indeed, be a lonely and, on some occasions, acold place. You may have nobody to share concerns with or bounceideas off; or you may feel that seeking guidance from yourmanager may be interpreted as a weakness. But you do not have tobe a Billy No Mates – consider the benefits of having a mentor! About the author:Alan Cutler is a leadership writer, motivational speaker andmentor with over 30 years experience of leading teams, including16 years as a commissioned officer in the Royal Air Force.Contact him at alan@leadershiptalks.com orwww.leadershiptalks.com
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