|
Below, you'll find extensive information on leading
effects of divorce articles and products to help you on your way
to success.
Help Your Marriage Survive The Rough Spots
By David Silva, Sat Dec 10th
/p> Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods. Even inthe best of circumstances, there are going to be difficulttimes.
People change.
Circumstances change.
Emotions change.
Over time, the natural ebb and flow of everyday life placesincredible pressure on a relationship.
Almost unnoticed at first, you begin to think thoughts that hadonce been unthinkable. "I love him, but I'm not in love withhim. Not anymore." "I'm not attracted to her, not like I was inthe beginning." "Maybe if we separated for awhile ..."
The skies can darken in a hurry.
But if you survive these darkest of times, you may find youemerge with a stronger, more trusting relationship than you everimagined possible.
Here are a few tips that might help you toward that goal ...
== Have a clear understanding of your expectations. Couplesrarely take the time to discuss how the little things will work.What does romance mean to each of you? How will the finances behandled? How will your children be raised? What role willreligion play in your relationship? What makes you feel loved?What hurts you? How will arguments be resolved? How willdecisions be made? What do you need from your spouse, what doesyour spouse need from you?
== Don't fight unfairly. There will always be disagreements.Deal with the matter at hand. Don't drudge up all your hurts anddisappointments from the past. Those are different matters, tobe handled separately, at a different time. Keep focused on theissue under discussion and avoid muddying the waters withgeneralized personal attacks ("You're always nagging." "Younever do anything unless I tell you to do it first.")
== Face the issues that are facing you. Hiding from realitynever leads to a happy ending.
If you're experiencing financialproblems, admit it, get it out in the open.
== Be honest with yourself. Take a step back and give yourself agood long look in the mirror. If your behavior is underminingyour relationship (whether it's the way you communicate, or howyou treat your spouse, or your personal destructive behavior)own up to it.
== Take the initiative. Understand that waiting for your spouseto change first will likely result in no change at all. Actionscome first. Thoughts and feelings follow. Change your behaviorsand watch your spouse's behaviors change in response.
== Rebuild compatibility. Time has a way of unveiling thedifferences between couples, especially when your marriage is introuble. Seek out those interests you have in common with yourspouse. Look for opportunities to share activities together.Perhaps it's ballroom dancing, or photography, or camping, ortrips to the beach.
== Remember what it was like when you were dating. What was itthat first attracted you to your spouse? What made you firstfall in love? How can those feelings be rekindled?
== Keep your sense of humor. Life is challenging enough withouthaving to live with a brooding, angry spouse. Laugh out loud theway you did when you were a kid. Happiness is a choice. Exerciseit.
Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or forpoorer, in sickness and in health, till ... well you know therest. Unfortunately, for many people, the pressures, challenges,and monotony of married life have doused its wonderful positiveaspects.
Maybe it's time to rekindle the magic. About the author:David B. Silva Understanding Divorce http://understandingdivorce.com Pick up your free copy of the & CustodyResource Handbook here: FreeHandbook
|
