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Why Do Cheating Spouses Cheat?
By Larry Bilotta, Sat Dec 10th
Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in thefirst place? They certainly didn't get married with theintention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did theydo it? Many "infidelity experts" on the internet these days areoffering solutions on how to find PROOF that will expose yourspouse or catch them "in the act". But instead of putting 100%of your effort in finding solid proof, your energy would bebetter spent understanding what went wrong in your marriage.It's fairly common for "chronic" cheating spouses to give up ona relationship the moment things start to become a littledifficult. Rather than admitting and accepting that there's aproblem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfilltheir needs. These "needs" could be anything from a physicalconnection to strictly intellectual relations leading to anemotional affair. Affairs take place because one spouse's needsare no longer being met by their partner. Cheating spouses arethen drawn to someone else who WILL (temporarily) meet thoseneeds. What increases the chance of an affair taking place iswhen a man marries a woman who idealizes love and spends herwhole life going in and out of marriages in search of her"perfect soul mate". Soul mates may exist in romance movies butin real life, it takes work to create a lasting relationship.Like it or not, marriage is WORK...but it doesn't have to be"hard" work. If you want win your spouse over after an affair,you need to know how to meet his/her needs. Every couple goes into marriage with expectations of each otherthat are NEVER CLEARLY DISCUSSED simply because they don'tREALLY understand, nor can they clearly explain what their ownexpectations are...let alone their spouses! Cheating spousescheat because they're in search of unmet, yet unspoken deepemotional needs. It's as simple as this..... If YOU aren'tmeeting your spouse's needs, they will find SOMEONE ELSE whoWILL! This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don'tlast. Let me explain...
When
your spouse met this other man/woman, they THOUGHT thatthis other person was meeting their needs, but what was reallyhappening is they were blinded by the "Romance" stage of arelationship. You and your spouse went through this stage also. If you thinkback to the beginning of your relationship, you may not havenoticed at the time, but the two of you were on your BESTbehavior. Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse was adifferent person back then. The reason? There is actually a chemical released in your brain that makesyou feel "infatuated" with this other person. It would even besafe to say that cheating spouses can't think straight whenthey're caught up in this "biological phenomenon". This is also why some couples make irrational decisions early intheir relationship, like going off to Las Vegas and gettingmarried on a whim. Down the road, after the Romance stage oftheir relationship is over, many of these couples eventually getdivorced. So if you're worried that your cheating spouse is "in love" withthis other person, chances are, the affair is VERY shortlived...which means you STILL have a chance to win over yourspouse! You owe it to yourself (and your children if you have them) togive your marriage a second chance. In fact, here's a statisticthat might give you some inspiration.... A study from the Institute for American Values found that"almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided were happilymarried five years later." If you can just get over this affair, this obstacle in yourmarriage, and start meeting each other's needs, I promise you,your marriage will be much stronger and more fulfilling than itwas...even BEFORE the affair took place. About the author:After working with couples for over 11 years, Larry Bilottadiscovered the path that ALL couples travel when headed fordivorce. This "map", called "The Secret Path to Divorce", showsyou how to recognize the WARNING SIGNS that lead todivorce...before it's too late to save your marriage. Get yourFREE Report at http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com
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