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Your Kid's Career - Whose Choice?
By Frank McGinty, Fri Dec 9th
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see,my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the experthandyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go forthis?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ." And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to standby MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What apride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one endwhile he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch abigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered thesecrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best Ican, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for atradesman. Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn hishand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch! This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation,only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy. There lies the crux of this article. We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points.As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents,who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids intocurriculum choices or career paths which say more about theparents and their aspirations. Why do so many of us insist on directing, or evendictating, career choices for our kids? Many possible reasons spring to mind: - perhaps wecompensate for our own lack of achievement
- or we wantto bask in the reflected glory
- we fear that if wedon't push them, their talents will remain unused orunder-developed
- maybe we think we'll lose face with ourneighbours, friends or family if our child doesn't enter a highprofile or glamorous 'profession'
- or maybe we just feelthat as parents we know best
Talk about a recipe fordisaster!Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends tofill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soonencounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethewith unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment. Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes becausethey want to
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please. They feel grateful for all we've done anddon't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even moreinsidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per centcommitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifestitself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness. What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources! On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? Weinstinctively know we should give them the benefit of ourexperience. So how do we go about it? The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT. From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to beconfident, positive, and optimistic. And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, andenjoy seeing their individual talents unfold. Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth anddevelopment, even if - especially if! - their talents take themalong a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent leastexpects develops into a major plus in their child. Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancinginterests your child, encourage him or her to research thatactivity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal- don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead! In high school some teachers encourage kids to make theircurriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But thisstresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over theyears: "Choose what you're best at and what youenjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And itdoes. Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Becausetoday and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy theluxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kidsneed adaptability in order to face change willingly and withoutfear. By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much tohelp them. Happy parenting! About the author:Frank McGinty's writes motivational books for both parents andteenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills andencourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his webpages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
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