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The Encounter
By Gloria Minatti, Thu Dec 8th
As I sit staring out the window contemplating about my past I ammoved with sadness because I may soon lose the privilege ofenjoying the pleasures of life. I was just diagnosed two weeksago with cancer. My whole life I thought I would see mykids grow up, and have children of their own. Now this may allbe just a fantasy. I believed in God, but never really had atrue relationship with Him. Always scurrying about with my dailyroutine, it became difficult to be still. With soccer practiceand assignments at work, there was never really any time to sitdown and meditate on the goodness of God. It seemed tofarfetched to me. At this moment looking at creation rightoutside my window has brought me to a place of solitude. Notbecause I wanted it, but life seem to have its own ideas for me.So I succumbed to its call, and began for the first time inyears - to pray. For the first time I had to believe in something or someoneother than myself. I have always been independent. I never felta need to trust in any source other than myself. Time after timeI was the one who lifted others up when they were down, and gavewhen there was a need. Now it was my turn, and my pride wouldnot let me ask for help. I felt so alone. I didn’t know what Iwas going to do. I didn’t even know how to pray, but rememberedthat someone told me that God hears us. I returned my gaze backinto the house and looked around. I begin to sum up all that Ihad accumulated over the years, and found that it was not nearlyas important now as it was then. I got married young at the age of 21, and had a son. At the timeof my marriage I already had a son. I was pregnant my senioryear in high school, and was determined to make it out of there.I graduated and received my diploma. Now I was faced with thereal challenge of life, raising a child alone. So when the man Imarried came along it was like a gift from God. He was willingto take on this responsibility and provide for us both. Thingswere so mush easier then. Whenever there was a financialproblem, or something broke down in the house. He wouldimmediately take charge and all would be taken care of. Now hewas gone. He past away last year from liver cancer, and now Iwas alone again.
There wasn’t much money, and I didn’t even have healthinsurance. I was at the end of myself, and wondered if I couldeven get the words out to even ask God for anything. What wouldI ask Him for? How would He receive me after I had beenneglecting Him all these years? My heart was so heavy today, andI wasn’t in the mood to have company. My family wanted to comeover and have a family dinner. We hadn’t done this in quiteawhile, so we decided this was a good time as any. I didn’t tellthem about my condition yet, because I didn’t want to be treatedas if I had leprosy or something. I know that it would be goodintentions coming forth, but it was my pride raring its uglyhead up again. My mother was in Florida, and so being the oldest I had to holdthe family together. I had four sisters, and they were all myhalf sisters. I always felt like an outcast ever since I foundout that my father wasn’t my father. What a shock it was to meto know that all those years I was kept in the dark. Glancingback over these things as I straighten up a little before myfamily would come. I always had trials to overcome, but overcomethem I did. I prided myself on my inner strength, and otherswere envious of it. In 1989 I was paralyzed for a year from myneck down. The doctors never found out the reason for it, andone day I was able to walk again. When I shared this with afriend who was a minister, she shared with me that it was God’sway of getting my attention. He had my intention for a while,but then the cares of the world started taking over and I forgotall about Him. That time seemed so long ago now. It is almost oblivious to me.My sons are 18 and 11 now, and able to take care of themselves.There was really no need for me to stay around anymore. I beganto recite this in my mind as I vacuumed the floors. I neverrealized at the time that I was falling. I was on my way into adownward motion of despair. I didn’t see that the news of thisdisease overtaking my body, this foreign substance was beginningto overpower me. The feeling of being hedged in was overwhelmingme. I felt as if I would faint, when at that moment I felt apresence. It was a presence I had never experienced before. Itwas real though, as if a literal person was standing therebeside me. I turned to look in the direction that I felt thesmall breeze coming at my back. There was no one there. At leastno one I could see with my natural eyes. I felt it nevertheless, and it didn’t frighten me. I had heardof people having out of body experiences or angels appearing tothem; but never in my finite mind would I ever have imagined itwould happen to me. I turned the vacuum off, and stoodcompletely still. My body began to shake uncontrollably, and Ithen became frightened. Not because of the presence, but of whatwas happening to me. I had never experienced anything like thisbefore. There was no one at home with me at the time, so thiswas a perfect opportunity for this
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to occur. I felt as if I was in a trance. Time went by, but I don’t knowhow much. I just stood there. I could still perceive objectsaround me, but it seemed that they were far away. It was as if Iwas looking into the realm I was in, but actually I was now inanother. I began to see the most beautiful garden filled withfruit trees, and magnificent flowers. The sun was so bright, butI could look into it. It didn’t hurt my eyes to gaze at it. Mybody started to feel warm, but it was a pleasant feeling. I feltas if I was floating, and I let myself go. The thought came tomy mind that I was dying within six months, so I had nothing tolose by surrendering myself to this feeling. I came to a lake that was the color of sapphire. It was calm andserene, as I watched it flow of the waves ripple before me.There was no one else here, not even an animal. It was onlynature portraying itself to me. I sat down on the grass that wasas soft as cotton, and just watched the water. As I did thisthoughts came to my mind of my life. I saw how I treated myneighbor the other day. It was not very hospitable of me. I sawthat I had so much bitterness in my heart for the things thathappened in my life. I then saw my face in the water for it hadbecome transparent like a mirror. I could see this ugly scowl onmy face, and thought to myself how grotesque I looked. As I saw these things I began to experience great pain in mybody. It was excruciating. I held my stomach as that was wheremost of the pain seemed to be coming from. I thought of thecancer in my body at that moment, and how it was ravishing myinsides. Attacking every organ of my reproductive system, andthere was nothing I could do about it. I could get treatments,chemotherapy, or even surgery, and hope that it would solve theproblem; but I had no means for any of them. Now I felt theemotion of anger well up in me. I felt betrayed and abandoned byGod. How could He allow this to happen to me? Didn’t He see allmy good deeds that I have done? Does He not know that I am anactive member in my community? This is not supposed to happen topeople like me, but to those who are mean and never think to saya kind word to another person. That wasn’t me! It was then for the first time in my life I heard God speak tome. Don’t ask me how I know it was Him. I just knew that it was.He told me that what was occurring on the inside of me was dueto the things I had been doing on the outside. For years He hadbeen calling me, pleading with me to come to Him, but I refused.Now I was alone, and there was no one I really trusted. Hewanted me to trust Him. This was my only hope for restoration.He told me I had this type of cancer because it involved myreproductive system. This is how a child is brought forth, andwhen there is any malfunction in that area, it is impossible toconceive. He showed me how my bitter thoughts had gone unnoticedfor so long. They had become a part of my being, and was nowproducing cancerous thoughts in my mind. I could no longerproduce or even conceive positive thoughts about myself, letalone for someone else. This was the reason for the distrust. He was more concerned with the mental cancer that was ravishingmy mind than He was about the physical cancer. It was at thatmoment I broke down and cried. There were tears that I didn’trealize I had in me. It was like a dam opening up, a fountainoverflowing, a pipe bursting. My insides began to quake, and Iscreamed at the top of my lungs, “forgive me, God.” Suddenly, there was a bright light, and then I passed out. WhenI came to, I felt a warm sensation in my belly. It felt as ifthere were hands inside my belly moving. It was as if someonewas performing surgery on me right then and there. I thenrecognized that I was back in my living room lying on the floor.Just then the door opened and my kids came in. They came overand helped me up onto the couch. They were concerned that I waslying on the floor, and asked me what happened. I relayed asmuch as I could to them, but they only stared at me bewildering.I remembered the last words I said to them before my familyshowed up at the door. “I am healed of cancer!” I knew it withall my heart and being. When I let go of all those negativeemotions that were eating away at me for 20 years, a miracletook place in my body. That day a miraculous feat was performed in my consciousnessthat forever changed my way of thinking. It changed the wholecourse of my life. It was another chance to be the woman that Iwas destined to be. I am grateful for another chance at life andvowed that I would not waste one minute of it. It was confirmedby the doctors that a miracle was truly performed in me. Theytoo have to a greater reverence for the unknown. May we all cometo the place of surrender, and know that the joy of the truereality of life is within us.
About the author: She is founder of Beyond the Veil Newsletter distributed aroundthe world, also Founder of Man's Restored Image Ministries Inc..She is an ordained minister with 18 years of experience inspiritual studies. Ms. Minatti’s spiritual journey directed herto minister to basketball legend/entrepreneur Michael Jordan.She has a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, and a licensedFitness/Nutrition Specialist. www.mansrestoredimage.org
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