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Examining Your Own Attitudes About Age
By Virginia Bola, PsyD, Fri Dec 9th
A common complaint of the mature is that, in American society,there is far too much focus on youth. We collectively spend afortune on attempting to look younger and fighting the naturalresults of gravity, sun exposure, and the poisons that haveseeped into our bodies through years of unhealthy eating,drinking, smoking, lack of exercise, and self-neglect. "Getting old is the pits" we are wont to mumble as we get upslowly from the floor, recalling how we used to spring uprightwithout a second thought. We feel more secure in lower heels andoften forget the principles of good posture, our shouldersrounding forward into an aging stoop. We walk past a shop window and are shocked by the figure we see:"That can't be me. It's my mother (father)!"
We can fight the biological ravages of aging only so far.Depending upon our budget, we can buy anti-aging creams,vitamins, cover-ups, special makeup, have HGH injections at afew thousand dollars a shot, or a complete makeover by anexclusive (and expensive) plastic surgeon. Some of us, despitethe desire for eternal youth, settle into our senior yearsoverweight, wrinkled, stooped over, but content. If we have limits on what we can do to look physically young, wehave an unlimited ability to think young. If we progress intomaturity with a positive attitude about aging, we can make surethat we are as productive, attractive, and youthful as ourbodies allow. No, we will not have the taut unlined skin of ourteens and twenties, nor the athletic energy we recall so fondly,but we will maintain our self-respect, our pride, and a vitalsense of our own value. How many of the following negative attitudes have you alreadyunconsciously adopted? 1. "Getting older means I can't be active anymore." In a limited sense this is true. If you performed heavy labor asa youth, it is unlikely that you now want to lift hundreds ofpounds throughout the day. If you stood on your feet waitingtables or in retail, your feet and legs will warn you to cutback. However, with the additional free time you gain aschildren leave home and you look forward to, or move into,retirement, you have the opportunity to expand your activitieswhich was impossible when you were over-committed to work andfamily needs. Daily walking will keep your joints lubricated,your cardiovascular system healthy, and your mood upbeat. Buy apedometer and gradually increase the distance you walk. Practicegood posture by walking tall as if there were a string in yourhead pulling you up, up, up. Check out your community forswimming classes, tennis lessons, tai chi, or yoga. All willleave you feeling younger, more vibrant, with little chance ofinjury. If you have long participated in vigorous physicalactivity, such as jogging, aerobics, softball, or racquetball -keep doing it. There is no reason to cut back on activities youenjoy until they become absolutely medically contraindicated, ifever. 2. "I get a headache when I have to read something technical ortry to figure out my computer. I just don't concentrate as wellas I used to." The human brain is amazing and inspiring. Its intricacy
andability set us apart from the other creatures of our planet. Ithas the capability to keep functioning, and growing, throughoutour life cycle. Only when we choose to ignore it, or fail to useit, does it slip into dormancy and slowly wither. Nurture yourmind as you did your children. When they thought they would"never get it" at school, you encouraged them and stuck withthem until they mastered their assignments. Relish new mentalchallenges and give yourself that same patient coaching. You mayneed to read technical information several times before youreally understand it. Spend free hours exploring your computerand researching what it does and how it can best work for you.Work on crossword puzzles and word games to maintain your memoryand expand your vocabulary. Learn about a new subject which hasalways interested you but which you never had time to thoroughlyexplore: history, astronomy, holistic health, genealogy, horserace handicapping, geography, anything that catches your fancy.The goal is not the subject you study but the mental exercise itaffords which will, in turn, improve your mood, provide thedaily excitement of new discoveries, and allow you to feelproductive and valuable to your prime audience: yourself. 3. "It's time to start acting my age." What does that mean? Shall we allow our age to be determined byan arbitrary, man-made calendar or by how we feel? Some of usseem "old" by fifty. We give up trying new things, we slow downour activity, we stop thinking creatively. Many of us at sixtyor seventy feel as we have always done and are shocked when welook closely in a mirror and see that we have changed. How couldour appearance be so different when we still see ourselves asyoung and vibrant as ever? If we can act the age we feel,calendar age no longer matters. If we love to dance, should westop because of a date on a calendar? If we like to work, shouldwe be forced to retire when we have so much to offer? If we feelat our best in shorter skirts and high heels, must we startchanging our wardrobe to present the image of a dowager? If welike to play rough and tumble sports, should we move to thesidelines and let the "young set" take over? Are we doomed towear shawls and scarves and sensible shoes when we don't feelany more "sensible" that we did for the past 50 years? No way!Let our inner attitude shine in public as brightly as it burnswithin our minds. Human beings have few limitations. The limits that exist areoften self-imposed. A positive attitude about yourself, yourrefusal to allow the calendar to stifle your physical and mentalreach, and frequent self-examination of the myths of aging towhich you may be falling prey, can transform the destructivesocial concept of aging into bright new opportunities forchange, growth, and fulfillment. About the author:Virginia Bola is a licensed clinical psychologist with deepinterests in Social Psychology and politics. She has performedtherapeutic services for more than 20 years and has studied theeffects of cultural forces and employment on the individual. Theauthor of an interactive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: AnUnemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker'sEdge, she can be reached athttp://www.drvirginiabola.blogspot.com
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